“The promise of reform which the Green Paper heralds holds much for the public and Service alike; local policing, customised to local need with authentic answerability, strengthened accountabilities at force level through reforms to police authorities and HMIC, performance management at the service of localities with targets and plans tailored to local needs, the end of centrally-engineered one size fits all initiatives, an intelligent approach to cutting red tape through redesign of processes and cultures, a renewed emphasis on strategic development so as to better equip our service to meet the amorphous challenges of managing cross force harms, risks and opportunities.”
What????
They're trying to say everything at once here, and the sentence runs to 102 words!! As a result, the Plain English Campaign has shortlisted them for their Golden Bull Awards - and fingers crossed they'll sweep the board!
After reading the sentence several times over, I've had a bash at rewriting it. Like this:
The Government’s plans will help the Police as well as the general public. In the future, we’ll be able to:
- Serve the needs of local communities
- Plan and manage staff locally
- Make sure everyone is held to account
- Accept that every challenge is different, and scrap ‘one-size-fits-all’ ideas
- Change anything that gets in the way of progress – from processes to attitudes
- Deal with all types of risks and opportunities
I know that's not rocket science, but clearly it's a point that has to be made!!
